Corporate “Customer Service”: The Fucking Stupid

So after posting my little trio of the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of customer service experiences I’ve had over the last couple months, I realized that there’s a fourth: The Fucking Stupid.

This is an example of a company so greedy and intent on screwing their customer that they simply don’t deserve to be in business – so, of course, it must be a cell-phone provider.

Back in May I upgraded to a Crackberry on my Verizon wireless service and I was quite happy with it for a few days … until I tried to download a GPS application from Blackberry AppWorld.  Curiously, it couldn’t connect to the 8310’s GPS.

So I downloaded another GPS app … can’t connect.

So I tried something mainstream, like Google Maps … can’t connect to the GPS.

So I tried the built-in Blackberry Maps application … can’t connect to the GPS.

Maybe my new Crackberry is broken. :(  But it can’t be, because, hey, the Verizon Navigator application that costs $9.99 a month works fine with the GPS.  What could be going on?

That’s right … Verizon had Blackberry cripple the GPS on the 8310 so that it only works with Verizon “approved” applications.  Meaning the ones that have paid Verizon some cash or that the Verizon customer is paying Verizon some cash for – not the free ones that everybody else with a Blackberry can download and use fine.

It’s not the first time Verizon’s done something like this, of course, they did it with Bluetooth years ago.  And I suppose we shouldn’t expect much from a company that can’t do simple math. 

As a result, for the first time in years I’m seriously looking at other providers.  AT&T offers comparable coverage at a lower price and has “rollover minutes” – and doesn’t cripple the Blackberry’s GPS. 

Corporate “Customer Service”: The Ugly

In May, TGI Friday’s ran a $5 sandwich and salad promotion.  Being a cheap bastard frugal, I took advantage of the deal and found, possibly, my favorite sandwich at a chain like this: the Jack Daniel’s Chicken Sandwich.  It’s a grilled chicken breast with cheese, bacon and the Friday’s Jack Daniel’s sauce.  Very, very tasty.

The problem occurs because I don’t like a bunch of crap on my sandwich, so I order it without lettuce, tomato, etc.  Now keep in mind that I’m not asking them to add anything, I’m asking them keep these items – which, ultimately, saves the restaurant money on the product.  So imagine my surprise when I’m told I can’t “hold the lettuce”, because it might confuse the cooks …

John Neitzel
President
TGI Friday’s, Inc.
4201 Marsh Ln.
Carrollton, TX 75007-1720

Re: Corporate policy regarding customer changes to new items

Mr. Neitzel,

I am writing to you to relate my recent experience at a TGI Friday’s in Orlando, Florida.

I visited the restaurant in response to your current promotion of $5 sandwiches and salads. On this visit, I ordered the Jack Daniels Chicken Sandwich, which, by the way, is a very good product and I will be returning to Friday’s often for it.

I am a customer who does not typically like everything that comes on a sandwich in a restaurant, so I almost always ask to have things left off. In this case, I asked the server to hold the lettuce, tomato, pickle and mayo. I was completely shocked when the server replied:

“I’m sorry, we’re not supposed to do that. It’s a new item and the cooks aren’t used to it yet.”

I was, frankly, aghast and this showed as I answered that she had to be kidding. She then offered to check with the head of the kitchen and returned to tell me that I would be getting my sandwich as ordered.

I assumed that this was a misunderstanding on her part, so I asked to speak to the manager while leaving – thinking that the manager would coach the server to ensure another guest wasn’t told this. Unfortunately I was to become even more shocked when the manager told me that this was a corporate policy and that changes to “new” items are discouraged during the first two weeks except in cases “of allergy or if the guest is adamant.”

She did suggest that the server would be coached in a “better” way to tell guests this, to which I replied that there is absolutely no way you could tell me this as a customer that wouldn’t piss me off.

This policy is, to be frank, the most absurd thing I have ever heard of from a customer-service perspective. I can understand denying unreasonable requests to alter a menu item, for instance if I asked for the Jack Daniel’s Chicken Sandwich with steak instead of chicken. Or requests that can’t be accommodated, such as removing ingredients from a pre-made entrée. But to tell a customer “no” to leaving things off a sandwich?

Yes, apparently you have a policy of allowing it if the guest is adamant, but I ask you: Should I, as a paying customer in your restaurant, have to start my visit by having to fight to get the pickle and mayo left off a sandwich?

The only thing that kept this incident from making my visit distasteful was that the absolute absurdity of it made me laugh. This policy was obviously put in place by a corporate manager who has never had experience with the customer-facing aspect of the business – either that or someone who’s a plant from one of your competitors and hopes to drive your customers away with ridiculous idiocy.

I found it funny the first time, but when it happens again it will be irritating and will eventually cause me to eat elsewhere when I am no longer amused. I suggest, in the strongest possible terms, that you ask your employees who actually work with customers what they think of this policy and make changes accordingly.

The courtesy of a reply is requested – I may be contacted at the above address, phone number and email address.

So why is this The Ugly of customer Service?  Because, to date, I haven’t received a reply from Friday’s.  Aside from the pure ugliness of the original issue, not replying to a customer complaint is scraping the bottom of the customer service barrel.  Friday’s is down their with the DMV, in my opinion.

Does this mean I won’t go to Friday’s again?  No, I’ll go back – especially when they have a new menu item that I might like to modify in some way.  I intend to try all their new items and be “adamant” in my demands to customize it – maybe if they get enough complaints from the store level they’ll rethink this absurd policy.

In the meantime, if you want to try the sandwich without the bullshit, you can make one at home.  Head over to Top Secret Recipes and get the free clone recipe of the Friday’s Jack Daniel’s sauce.

The sauce is super-easy to make and for a couple dollars you can have it around for anything you want.  It’s actually better than at Friday’s, because you can customize the sauce – I like a bit more cayenne for a little extra kick.

The Good

The Bad

Corporate “Customer Service”: The Bad

The “bad” experience with customer service has more to do with the initial contact than the follow-up action, but I think the details of the situation warrant the label because a good company would never have let it happen in the first place.

The context of this issue is simple: I purchased a laptop from Alienware in January 2009 and some time in late April the motherboard shorted out.  Despite my “on-site” warranty that I paid extra for, they had me ship it to them – which is okay, though irritating, because a motherboard replacement is more difficult than other repairs.  But when I call to check on it after two weeks and they first can’t find it, then haven’t started on the repair work …

Arthur Lewis
Alienware Corporate Headquarters
14591 SW 120 ST
Miami, FL 33186-8638

Mr. Lewis,

I am writing to you to express my dissatisfaction with the technical support and warranty service I have received for an m17 laptop I purchased in January 2009.

From receipt of the laptop until late April I was quite pleased with the product. I found it to be a highly performant system and I was quite satisfied that the $3000 it cost had been well spent. Furthermore, I found the level of communication provided by the Alienware site throughout the build and delivery process to be far above anything I had experienced or expected in purchasing a PC. Unfortunately, all of that changed in late April.

On April 22nd, there was a loud pop and beep followed by the system powering off and it would not power back up. I contacted Alienware support and was pleased to get a representative after only a short wait. The representative worked with me to diagnose the problem and informed me that I would have to ship the laptop back to Alienware for repair. I was a bit unhappy about this, because of the “onsite” warranty, but I understand that a significant repair, such as motherboard replacement, which this was, should be done under more controlled conditions.

I boxed the laptop up and delivered it to Federal Express that afternoon. The shipment was received by Alienware on April 24th. I only know that it was delivered on the 24th because I checked the FedEx website – there was no communication from Alienware that the shipment had arrived. In fact, I received no communication from Alienware at all until I contacted support myself on May 11th – fully two weeks after your receipt of the laptop.

On May 11th, the person I spoke to informed me that they had no information whatsoever about the status of the laptop or its repair. He indicated that he would email the “department” to find out and I should call back the next day.

On May 12th I called back and was informed that the system was not currently being worked due to a lack of parts. I questioned both the issue of it having been two weeks since the laptop had arrived with no work being done and that there had been no communication of its status. I was informed that for warranty work “we don’t have to contact you.”

It was at this point that I asked to speak to a supervisor, but the operator continued to talk about warranty work. I again asked to speak to a supervisor and the operator told me: “I let you finish now I get to” and continued to talk about a lack of parts. I explained the operator had an unhappy customer on the phone and that I wanted to speak to a supervisor and that her continuing to say the same thing over and over was only making the situation worse.

I was finally put in touch with a supervisor who reiterated the problem with the motherboard being out of stock and promised to check on things and get back to me within the next day or two (May 13th or 14th). As of this writing, I have received no further communication.

At this point, I am extremely dissatisfied with the level of support I have received from Alienware after the sale. The measure of a company’s commitment to customer service is not how well they treat the customer when trying to get their money, but when there’s a problem after they have it. Alienware makes the following statement on their website:

“Alienware® is known for outstanding customer service and technical support. Alienware® takes pride in providing the best service and support in the industry and strives to continually go beyond what is expected.”

I do not feel that your company has met this goal with regard to my issue.

First, I feel that two weeks of no contact on a warranty repair is unacceptable. I would expect to receive the same level of communication that I did before the sale. In fact, being told early on that there was a parts issue would have gone a long way toward setting my expectations and would probably have left me far less unhappy with the situation.

Second, the m17 seems to be a new product and for there to be no replacement motherboards in your repair depot seems indicative of one of two problems: either there was a planning failure that resulted in not allocating enough replacement parts vs. those for new systems or the product itself is inherently defective, resulting in a higher than expected number of repairs being necessary. Neither of these possibilities speaks well of Alienware.

Third, the response to a customer asking to speak to a supervisor should be nothing other than “right away, sir.” Telling an irate customer “you got to finish so now I do” is, frankly, unacceptable and that person should not be working in a support call center.

Fourth, I was specifically told that I would receive a call to update me on the situation and status – I have not. To tell a customer you’ll call and then not do so is extremely poor customer service.

I understand that warranty work is not of the highest priority. I also understand that parts shortages happen. I do not understand the lack of communication or, frankly, rude treatment of a customer.

This laptop is critical to me at this time. I purchased it specifically for its quadcore processor because I give technical presentations on parallel processing to programming users’ groups and code camps. The multiple cores are critical to these presentations and I don’t have another laptop with its capabilities.

Due to this issue, I have already had to cancel one appearance and decline another. I will likely have to cancel my presentations at a code camp in early June due to not having an adequate system.

I also need this system functioning in order to begin work on a book on parallel computing which I was due to start next week. I have since had to inform my publisher that there will be delays in the code samples and screenshots due to this issue.

At each of the presentations I’ve done since receiving this laptop, Alienware has gotten quite a bit of exposure. Each presentation consists of thirty to fifty attendees and the glowing Alienware logo is visible to the entire audience for over an hour each time. At every talk I have had questions about the specifications of the laptop, because part of my demo includes showing Task Manager and the quadcore is impressive. Invariably I have spoken about how pleased I am with the system.

My hope is that this will not change. I hope that my experience with warranty support so far has been an aberration and is not consistent with Alienware’s commitment to “outstanding customer service and technical support”. I would like to think that you will find this situation as unacceptable as I do and work to correct it, so that Alienware truly will “provid[e] the best service and support in the industry”.

I am not asking for special treatment or to be jumped to the head of the line for repair when motherboards do become available. I simply wish to make you aware of my experience in the hopes that you will find some way to correct the problem, both for me and for any other customers currently waiting unreasonable amounts of time for warranty work and being ill-treated by Alienware’s support personnel.

The courtesy of a reply is appreciated – I can be reached at the above address, telephone number and email address.

I sent that letter on May 15th, after I’d not received the promised return call from the supervisor I’d spoken to.  On May 19th I received my repaired system and on May 20th I received an email from Alienware’s CEO’s office in response to my letter – I’m happy I got my system back, but the issue shouldn’t have happened in the first place.  Alienware has wonderful communication during their build process – you can go to their website and see exactly what stage of the process your new system is in and a constantly updated estimate of the ship date.  After the sale, not so much – and that’s when they really need it.

I’m pretty sure I got special treatment as a result of my conversation with the supervisor, because I made him aware of my presentations as well.  The image of the glowing, Alienware logo facing a few dozen computer programmers with an “Ask Me Why Alienware Sucks” sticker underneath it is something I’m sure they’d rather avoid.  The “bad” part of this, even though I got my system back so quickly after contacting them, is that the average customer wouldn’t have.  And that’s wrong.

My comment about not having the parts still holds – either they can’t calculate how many parts they need or the system’s are breaking faster than anticipated.  Neither answer gives me a warm fuzzy about the company and this might impact my decision on where to buy next time – maybe not, we’ll see.

I should have been a little wary when I found out that Alienware was now owned by Dell – since Dell sucks – but they’re a separate division.  Unfortunately, I think the support and repair is shared, which means you get the Dell-treatment after the sale.

 

The Good

and The Ugly